I did it again...

Im stupid. Did anyone know that? I did it again. Something I fucking told myself I would not do. Something I was trying to prevent. I fell for someone. Stupid me right. I always do this, and when I do, its always the same fucking ending. Nothing. Fucking nothing. Im the friend, not the significant other. Its not the other persons fault either. I know they can't make themselves feel some way. Its my own fucking fault.

I get stupid sometimes. I really do, I lead myself on. Even though this time, I knew it wasn't gonna go anywhere, cause I wasn't gonna let it. Im scared shitless of relationships. People don't realize that. Im scared shitless of getting hurt. But even when I try not to, I get hurt anyway.

Cause Im a fucking stupid little girl.

Yep, thats me, a fucking idiot. Through and fucking through. You know sometimes I really fucking wish I was ugly as hell. Cause that way things would stop. Cause the only reason people seem to even like me in the slightest, even thought it never goes anywhere, is cause I'm 'cute'. But then I remember I have low as hell self esteem. And that if I were ugly as hell, which I partly already think I am, I would be more so depressed than I am now.

Go fucking figure, I can never win. Maybe one day I'll grow out of all this shit. The fear of being in a relationship, of being alone, of looking the way I do, of looking the way I don't. All of it. Maybe I'll get some god damned common sense, and just stop being stupid. I can wish right?

Oh well, till then I suppose this just gives me more time to focus on my studies. Part of me is slapping myself for not focusing on it enough, and wasting time socializing. Im not a social person, atleast not in my mind. Everyone tells me Im not an alone person though, and that I am a social person. I don't fucking get it.

I don't get it at fucking all. I just...really wanna slap myself. Really hard, upside the head. Maybe it'll knock some sense into me and I can stop rambling about god knows what. Im bet people are sick and tired of depressed blogs from me. I do it on myspace, fb, here. God I need to cheer the fuck up.

But about what? What do I have to be happy for? I suppose the only thing I got going atm it that I am gonna go visit my family in NJ. I was here in FL for school, which fucked up, and now Im stuck here an year and a half early taking online classes. Im fucking lucky ain't I. Im away from home, away from all my friends, away from all the people I fucking talk to and rant to. And Im basically stuck with strangers.

Don't get me wrong, I've met some really great people, some people I really do like being around and would like to consider friends. And then I met ppl I was stupid around and made a fool of myself out of to. Hence this blog.

I really wish I wasn't so fucking stupid.

I really do.

I can't fucking do anything right. Oh well, I suppose I can always just go drown in the shower. Stand there for half an hour and think. I got nothing better to do.

Ending statement. I wish I wasn't so fucking foolish, and I wish I could stop getting myself into situations that will only hold me.

Conclusion: Im gonna stop getting close to people. I've said it a million times before. Im meant to be alone, no matter how much I fucking hate it. Im just meant to be.

End story.

-Flip

P.S.

Im not mad at anyone. Nor is it anyones fault besides my own. I just gotta be more careful. And remind myself to stop thinking things.

Random calls from love song playing men....

Is it a bad thing that I just said 'Aww' after some guy called me, played me three songs on his guitar,imput my name int one of the songs, and told me he loved me.

These three songs being 3 very sweet and amazing love songs.

And him being the lead singer of a popular band [no not a local one but one...well...hes not from this country and he's azn do the math >.> I know to many ppl stfu or kiss my ass.]

Is it bad?

I fell kinda bad about it. Like I should have said, I love you too, or something.
But..I dunno.
Its strange.
It was utterly random and out of the blue too, so In the end Im like..wait..wtf just happened.

Did this guy just sing me a Beatles song?
Did he just play it on his guitar?
It sounded nice, but...am I dreaming?

Does this make me utterly oblivious to the fact that ....someone likes me?

I srsly need to wake the fuck up and react properly to things.

-.-

I really do.
Though, Im not sure if I am happy he did this, or...not happy?
I just...feel I should have given him more than 'aww' and like, thanked him in a more proper way or something. I mean he fucking called me and played me songs... ;-;

No wonder I am still single.
Im an idiot.


-Flip

So the aftermath includes....

Its a strange thing.

I go to sleep at a perfectly normal time.

Wake up at around 10am, say 5 more minutes and BOOM.

I wake up again and its night time.

-.-

wtf

I hate my sleeping patterns.

In other news. The ATNYC Show went wonderfully.

We had a nice show. All the designers enjoyed themselves.

The models had fun.

And Kaito almost was kidnapped by a fan attending.

:3 GOOD SHOW RIGHT!

But yeah, down to the nitty gritty.

I got to the studio around 1pm.

Found Dorian asked, sup. And then was tossed into getting dressed while everyone ran around getting their hair and make up done. Eventually I got mine done too.

However...there was a tiny problem. In the morning I had put in my circle lenses, morning being while on my way to the studio. At around 9am. By the time I got to the studio, my eyes were irritated, so I removed the lenses. My eyes were red, this red did not go away it seems till well, I didn't check today, the day after, to see yet. But yeah, red irritated eyes. The make up that they put on seemed to make them burn. I think something might have gotten in my eye. Which is weird cause the makeup was MAC, and the only brand I have ever had problems with before was Sephora... strangeness indeed.

Anyways, after we were all dressed, I left with Arielle and others early to the Javits center. Wearing a giant sweater over everything else to hide the outfit. We met up with everyone and found a nice alcove near one of the cafes for the rest of the models who did not make it to the studio to have their hair and make up done. This is where we realized my eyes were still read and that they were burning. ICK.

While everyone ran around insane. I basically sat there, and tried to rest my eyes, hoping the red would go away. [fyi I just checked, they are still a tiny bit red, not as bad as yesterday, but still]

There was alot of ppl running around. Miika, and Htoshi of Lilac were there, LeAk of Typherus was there as he was guest modeling for the same Designer I was, Dorian.

In my group was Susanne, Me, another who I don't quite remember, V, and of course Le Ak.

Guess who got the fans screaming. V and Le Ak of course lol. They also had some great designs on. I really liked their outfits.

The other groups which modeled Wa-Lolita, and Aristocrate styles were great. Arielle was in the second of those. There was another style but my ditzy brain refuses to let me remember it.

The show went great. Aidou and Miika bantered, Miika was drooled over by the fans, Aidou had his pride torn from him as someone asked "Are you single?" and him answering, the fan correcting "Not you, him!" ... poor poor Aidou. iTS OK WE STILL LOVE YOU!! <3

Ahaha, but yeah, it went great as far as I could tell. The entire thing.

Had alot of fun, despite my eyes being red as all hell and itchy. :3 Which the itch is gone, and they are still red, Im looking into seeing if its an allergic reaction or something else.

However, to my lovely Kathy. I MISS YOU~~

I hope to make it to the Nov 1st NY meets Japan and J-summit New York 2 at Webster hall. Bands, fashion, and fun. Yes this is me saying HEY BITCHES READING MY BLOG ATTEND THIS :3

Lol, love ya all I guess.

Off to find food, and disturb my poor kittens nap on my feet.

Sorry Sam I am Green Eggs and Ham, but ya gotta wake up now <3

Yes I named my Kitten something ridiculous, deal with it my darlings.

Anyways, CIAO <3

-Flip

Obsessesion and then some..

What is love?
I know what you are all thinking now, OH FUCK here she goes, ranting about the wonders and greatness of love.
Hem...FUCK THAT SHIT.
Love is creepy to be perfectly honest. You think about a person all day, you miss them for no reason at all, you depend on them for safety and comfort, you have a million pictures of them. And vice versa. All love is, is a shared mutual obsession.
Does this mean I am opposed to the concept of loving someone, not at all.

I would like to accept the concept of love, I would like to have someone TO love. But...fact is...its still C-R-E-E-P-Y.

My deepest apologies if this short idiotic post bothers you. But..alas, tough shit. <3

And on to another topic!!
~GAL~





I'm basically just updating with something I have not said for a while. I'm getting more and more into Gyaru or GAL style. Its uber cute, and...I like it. So yeah, if this entire blog turns into some Gal ridden blog, and has images all over, don't be surprised loves ~<3FYI, Im about to revamp this ENTIRE page with Gal inspired junk

-Flip

Some people can disgust me...

NOTE!

Topic is hide related, hence the image. hide however, is amazing, so the title does not pertain to him.

On to the rant.

So now people who commit suicide are wastes of life. WOW.

Ok then, it seems that if someone commits suicide that person is a waste of life, especially if its over a musician's death. Cause you know, people don't have problems. People don't care. What insenstivitiy. HOW THE FUCK CAN PEOPLE THINK LIKE THAT!!??

I am so insulted. I have had several close friends fucking commit suicide, are they wastes of life now? Are the fans who took their lives after hide passed wastes of life? I would love for Squeek to tell that to their fucking families.

Also, according to the police report, hide commited suicide, I don't want to believe that myself, but thats what it says in the police report, so tell me, is hide a waste of life now?

How can a person be so fucking narrow minded. Honestly. WHAT THE FUCK.

And yes, I fucking named your ass. I don't give a shit hunni, I think your are a disgusting asshole at the moment. I would LOVE to punch you out for fucking being so insensitive. For insulting my freinds who died, for insulting all those who did take their lives that day.



How fucking dare some people. Honestly.



-Flip-

Over reacting to Over reactions..

Get the fuck over it.

Its a myspace. Honestly.

Isn't it laughable how people keep getting pissed that hide is STILL being promoted. Cause appearently, if you are being promoted even after your death, its obviously selling your corpse. Well guess what people, the Music Industry likes to sell shit, its a business, its main goal is to MAKE MONEY. Not appease the 10 fans who like to assume that Yoshiki is behind everything, cause obviously everything Yoshiki writes, thinks, or does, is realted to hide. Cause obvisouly Yoshiki has a one track mind. People, give it a fucking rest already. Leave Yoshiki alone, get over the fact that the Music Industry's main goal is to make money, and move on with your life.

Its a fucking Myspace page. Its not the end of the world. And FYI I like the new merch. The new t-shirts and such, yeah Im EXCITED for the Myspace to start selling merch, cause they are gonna ship internationally, and accept those kinda purchases, unlike the LEMONed shop, which was Japan only.

You ungrateful little asswipes. Wow, I love these so called hide fans and how they over react to it all. I also love how the people I am thinking of, aren't really big hide fans. They miss the point of hide fans wanting to own a shirt with hide's name on it and it being official, they miss the point that some fans are comforted by being able to leave a comment on yes a DEAD mans myspace profile. Yes hide has been gone for 11 years, but still..some of us don't wanna let go.

Some fans still love him.

Stop being such dick weeds and get the fuck over it. Stop over reacting to a fucking myspace.

GOD DAMNED, I hate the Jrock fanbase. Yes thats right I like Jrock. Kiss my ass bitches.

-Flip

The Introduction to Hell...

If you have stumbled across this blogger, please be advised, you have entered the First Level of the inferno. With time, we shall go deeper. Until then, enjoy the ride.

I am Flip Klein, the author of this blogger. I am usually seen as postive, happy, hyper, and 'cute'. In all honestly, I say fuck that shit in my mind and I'd rather see half the people around me choked with piano wire. Im not a nice person.

This blog is my mind. What I really thing. It shall upset people, it shall make people think, and it shall serve as a remind that humanity is nothing more than a bleak pathetic place. Yet, this does not mean I lack human elements like emotion, compassion, and love. I do feel theses things, just in a much different degree.

Please be prephared for the most twisted ride of your life in reading this. This is the introduction.

Enjoy your stay.

~Flip Klein~